The Cringe Behind Fashion Kringe


Growing up, there were numerous occasions when I caught myself staring in the mirror, daydreaming about how my life would be perfect if I could only put on a few more pounds. Losing hope in my body developing into my ideal self, I turned to criticizing how I looked and how my clothes never quite fit my slender build. As a result, I pretended to become someone I wasn't and acted like things were okay when they really weren’t. It seemed as if I never took the time to work on my self-esteem and just locked my perception of self, inside.  There are many people who aren't comfortable in their own skin and I know firsthand it is difficult being someone who struggles with self-confidence. When you feel this way, you are paranoid of what others think about you and will likely NEVER step out of your comfort zone, for fear of someone saying something negative about you.


That was me, I felt that way every day! I never cared about what I wore because it conflicted with who I wanted to be, I thought people would judge me, or even worse laugh at me. So I gave up, even though I knew I had a passion for the art of fashion. I even allowed other people to select clothes for me, all along knowing I had fashionable ideas in my head. Although the selection of clothes I had access to were within trend, I’d never wear them and allowed my shyness to force me into a “look” which was unnoticeable. The cycle of being stuck in this awkward place was difficult. Yet, I continued to believe that people constantly talked about how I looked in the things I wore, which then lead to me not being in control of my own life. It was to the point where these preconceived ideas prevented me from being who I needed to be. Even though I would to try to step out and express confidence by wearing items that were different, the reality was I never felt the courage to outwardly express who I truly was inside. As l look back on that time in my life, it seemed like I was always trying to tear myself down, and I never felt I had what it took to build myself up.


As time continued, I slowly began to encourage myself to be who I wanted to be and to stopped making presumptions of what others thought of me.  It was especially difficult for me because each morning waking up my mind would be filled with different fashionable ensembles, color schemes, and some really (what I now see) great ideas the fashion industry could potentially benefit from. But still, did I take a chance and step out of my comfort zone? NO! I was so caught up with what others thought, I never took the opportunity then, to cultivate the person I am today...until one morning.  I woke up and told myself that I was going to put on an outfit and wear it like there was no tomorrow! I did just that, and the reaction I received was not what I expected. When I walked into the classroom that day all I heard was, “Kalebh, I love that jacket”, “OMG, Kalebh, you have your own it”, “I like that, no one dresses like you Kalebh”. Those were just a few comments I received that day. Many of you might think my confidence boost came from people feeding my ego, but it really didn’t. Their comments were nice but it really wasn't enough for me to put self-doubt behind me. What helped me overcome my self-confidence issues was my peers proving all the false ideas in my head wrong! I felt transformed that day because I had been lying to myself for many years and finally got the “reality check” that I needed. This experience of affirmation from my peers and the courage to override negative self-talk created the man I am today!


The process of building my self-assurance was not easy. It took many years, and in actuality I am still working on it. This revelation of self has not been an overnight process, it is one that has taken time and patience to overcome the barriers of how I see myself. My experience is one of the main reasons I created Fashion Kringe. I wanted to create a page where I can share my own personal ideas on how to overcome the conflicts which arise from self-perception, and fashion. And most importantly, to help those who may be struggling with similar problems!


The moral of my story is, stop thinking negatively about yourself. You are who you are for a reason so lift your head up, be yourself, and love you for you, and know self-acceptance is the foundation for every great “look”.


And always remember self-love and confidence is the best accessory to any outfit.